Jewels From Judy

A few years ago, after returning from a month-long mission trip, I was feeling uncharacteristically depressed. As I reflected on the trip, I saw so much need, and it seemed all my efforts were like a tiny pebble thrown into a sea. I honestly didn’t know if I had made any difference in the lives of the people I had ministered to or not. The helplessness I experienced was so palpable; I sat weeping before the Lord in the secret place. (The enemy of our soul loves to attack us when we are weary.)

As I had many times before, I questioned God for calling me into the ministry. Why would He choose me to speak to His beloved ones? I was certain there had to be better choices for Him – after all, He knew my rebellion and anger toward Him during my younger years. He knew all my brokenness, failings, and weaknesses. His choice made no sense.

The Holy Spirit brought to mind Jesus’ words, “Many are called, but few are chosen.” I believe He showed me that the word “chosen” doesn’t mean the choice is God’s. Rather He calls to us, and then it is our decision “to make a choice of one’s free will.” We must be mindful in making the decision to accept and choose whether or not to answer His call. This starts with salvation.

That morning, while sitting and pouring out my laments to God, the Holy Spirit spoke something to my heart I will never forget. I share it because perhaps you too feel unworthy of His calling. He said, “I was not wringing My hands in the days of your rebellion, for I saw your end before your beginning.”

That just floored me! I often bring this encouraging word to mind as the Lord confirmed in:

Psalm 139:16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.

In the Father’s Love,
Judy A Bauman